"feeling small"istanbul 09.2008
Dearest M,
First things first YES i know i should set the the record straight.. you know as well as i do... I'm really a globe trotting gossip whore.. I LIVE for the stuff.. you could quite easily call me a faceSTALK addict.....and i have been known to lose myself for entire days trawling through photos of the past and the present friends (and foes).....
as for the globe trotting we lived the life together, i love you M... expat brats together we were born different from those around us.. China town was the town for us!.. until we discovered the endless thrills Lang Kwai Fong had served us on a platter..AND it was off to a private girls boarding school *read reform school*
i remember our coming of age was in knee high bleached socks, stained with the orange foul smelling fake tan.. a push up bra and and a uniform with a far too highly hemmed skirt.. like the 2600 other ladies' at our apparently "elitist" college in the upper east side.. all we knew were fake tans and fake friends.. it is here i learnt some my most valuable life lessons..
Although i miss you dearly M...moving around so much as a child i never found anywhere i truly could call home. in fact i find myself more comfortable in the strangest of places..
Currently i find myself more comfortable then i have been in a long time.. (i have never been so far detached from the world -not that i know, but more importantly- that knows me) I am working/living in the great (ancient) capital of the ottoman empire, surrounded by constant reminders of the old world everywhere i look.. its somewhat calming to feel so small..
and it is this detachment i crave when we are surrounded by those we know and love.. forever in the same clubs and bars with the same friends... i urn NOT to be recognized or identified as "his daughter" or "her cousin" or the worst of all "his girlfriend"
so it is here, surrounded by Kofte, kebabs and head salves i finally feel i disappear..
Love you M,
xx
